Difficult Decisions: Thoughts about Coffee (but not really)

     Recently, the question has been asked at the church I serve, "Should we prohibit drinking coffee during worship?" As you might imagine there are people passionate on both sides  of this question and a vast majority somewhere in the middle. I've wrestled with the question, "What is my role in this discussion?" Some believe being a spiritual leader means guiding and influencing others to the answer s/he believes is best. Others believe a leader simply moderates the discussion with no bias. I've come to the conclusion, my role is to lay the ground work and provide a framework in which to have the discussion. As I gathered my thoughts on what to say tomorrow night at the Session meeting, I realized this framework is really applicable to any difficult decision we may face in the church or in our lives. I humbly offer them and welcome ways to improve this approach to making hard choices.

     First, as a Christian, I strive to follow in Jesus' footsteps and live into God's will for my life. My basis for a decision should not be self focused but God focused. "Not my will but thy will be done, O Lord." So I constantly ask, what is God's will? What does scripture say that might shed light on what God's will is? I may WANT to cheat on a test in high school so I can get a better grade and get into a better college, but I know that's not what God would want me to do nor is it what scripture condones. True, many times it's hard to know what God's will is. But at least asking the question and consulting scripture puts us on the right path.

     Second, what is at stake here? What are the deeper issues? Back to the coffee example. The real issue isn't coffee. The deeper issue is stewardship of property as we take good care of the pews, carpets, and sanctuary entrusted to us. The deeper issue is hospitality in how we make members and visitors feel welcome in worship. The deeper issue is worship and respect and reverence for an Almighty God. In every mundane decision, there are deeper issues of ethics, morals, trust, and integrity. I alway ask myself, "What issues does this question really speak to and what is at stake in this decision?"

     Third, there is a cost and  benefit to any decision we make. What is the cost and benefit to saying yes to the idea? What is the cost and benefit to saying no? What is the cost and benefit to an alternative? Let's be honest. Everything has an upside and downside. We may simply prefer different costs and benefits, but no one answer will be perfect. That' why the decision is difficult in the first place. 

     Fourth, I always wonder and ask, "Is there an alternative?" Does it have to be all yes or no to a certain issue or question? Is there a compromise? In the past the compromise to the coffee issue has been to ask people to put lids on drinks to reduce the possibility of spills and damage. Sometimes there is no compromise but I continue to seek creative solutions or alternatives to issues that may cause disagreement. 

     Fifth, I also ask myself, "Do we need more information to make a decision? Do we have to make it now? Is there a benefit in waiting? Do we need to see how others have handled a similar question? Who else will be effected by this decision? Who could I talk to for wisdom or advice? These are also important questions to ask ourselves as we take time to consider the impact our decisions make on not just our own lives but the lives of others.

     Of course this is not a fool proof, step by step, easy to follow instruction manual for how to make difficult decisions. But it may perhaps shed some light on a few ways to approach hard choices we are faced with and some helpful questions we might ask ourselves. Don't underestimate prayer and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. With God all things are possible. Study, ask, reflect, be honest, seek God's will, and pray. More times than not, the path will become clear.