But What If...

     1800 people are gathering in Denver, Colorado for the Festival of Homiletics, a preaching conference for pastor geeks like me. At the opening worship service, I was introduced to a Lutheran, blue grass, 19 page bulletin liturgical style of worship. With clergy collars, banjo, gluten free crackers, and standing up/sitting down more times than a fitness class, pastors (among others) gathered to praise God together. 

The opening worship service was head lined by Rev. Nadia Bolz-Weber, a local celebrity known for her tattoos, tell-it-like-it-is preaching style, and New York Times best selling memoir. Even in a ten minute sermon, she did not disappoint. Using the Mark 9:30-37 passage about welcoming children, she put the passage in context by reminding us the role of children in that day. And let's just say it had nothing to do with Norman Rockwell and Ann Geddes. Children were seen as replacement adults: dirty, inconvenient, unwanted, snot nosed, not potty trained, and treated more like mongrel dogs. The disciples were arguing about who was the greatest, "like a bunch of insecure junior high boys talking smack." Jesus responds to these petty arguments by taking this dirty, messy, unwanted child and telling them they need to welcome this child as they welcome Jesus.

Bolz-Weber continued, "This could have been a lesson on radical hospitality, whatever the hell that means." But upon reflecting that a bunch of tired stressed preachers who have travelled all day were the ones listening, the message that Jesus was giving us one more thing to do just didn't seem right. But what if... What if instead of seeing ourselves as the disciples, we saw ourselves as the child: feeling misunderstood, unwanted, messy, inadequate. What if we are the dirty ones that never feel good enough.  What if the disciples were not only given the message to welcome the child, but to see themselves as a child welcomed by God. What if we as pastors saw ourselves the same way.

Pastors too feel small, scared, with no ability to make themselves worthy, like the children of Jesus' day. But what if...God welcomes that part of us just as much as the competent, faithful part of ourselves. What if we didn't have to hide our pettiness, our insecurities, our short comings, our messiness, because we knew we were accepted, welcomed, and loved by a God who enfolds that which is filthy and helpless into God's forgiveness and grace.

Then pastors could be honest and vulnerable, standing among the congregation instead of above them. Then preaching could be just as much Good News to the preacher as the congregation. Then we might step out from the curtain of competence that hides our insecurities. Then we might really experience words like grace, unconditional love, surrender.

What if we were all just dirty, unwanted, messy, inadequate children. And what if God welcomes and loves us anyway. 

Under Renovation

As I type this, the sound of hammering is pounding in my ears.  The church started renovations this week.  What a mess!!  The existing internal structure of platforms and carpet were torn out.  Hammering, saws, and other pounding noise fills my days.  Dust and dirt and sawdust fill the air.  Fascinating items have been unearthed such as an old acorn that some critter brought in and left in the church walls as well as old newspaper pages shoved under the old platform dated February 25, 1929. 

Being under renovation is inconvenient to say the least.  The office is cold because the door to the sanctuary (which is not heated) is left open all the time.  People come in to ask me questions.  And it's not the ideal working environment with noise and dust everywhere.

 

Being under renovation is hard, messy work.  It takes skill, strength, patience, and persistence.  It takes a vision to see beyond the mess to what could be, what will soon be.  It takes a set of plans so those involved know the next step and the specifications needed to make that vision a reality.

And yet being under renovation means that something better is coming our way.  The sanctuary gets "worse" before it can be improved and more suitable for use.  It's exciting!  While all I see now is a complete mess, that mess indicates that something newer will be here soon, something we as a church have dreamed about for a long time.

And while our sanctuary is under physical renovation, maybe we as human beings are under renovation too.  Maybe God the Great Contractor wants to tear some things down, some attitudes, some behaviors, some thoughts out of our lives and replace them with more loving, accepting, sacrificial attitudes.  Maybe God is trying to renovate our hearts so that we can become more like Christ.  But in order to do that, it will be inconvenient.  It will be hard and messy.  But it means that we will be created into something better, something more like what we are called to be.

So what do you say?  Do you want to be someone who is under God's renovation?