Going Back Down the Mountain

          As I sit in the airport once again ready to return home, I am now better equipped to enter the whirlwind of packing up all my worldly belongings and moving to our new house in Virginia Beach next weekend. I am better equipped to learn from and lead the congregation I serve. I am better equipped to feed myself and others with God's Word through the preaching moment. 

          Why? Because I have taken the time to sit at the feet of some of the greatest preachers of our time. Because I have set aside time to be nurtured by family. Because I carved out time to take a deep breath, slow down my frantic pace, and rediscover my center once again. 

          After all, that's why I come to these conferences.  That's why I miss moments like Alex losing his first tooth and Christian trying out for soccer. That's why I make the sacrifice. To be the best pastor, mom, wife I can be, I need to retreat at times and renew my passion for who I am and what I'm called to do. 

          Jesus needed some time away to reconnect with God and his purpose. It's a healthy rhythm we all need. I am grateful for a congregation that understands and supports this need. I am grateful to a husband willing to "hold down the fort" while I'm gone. I am grateful to a God who is always faithful to meet me where I am and give me what I need to do what God asks me to do. Deep breath. Time to go back down the mountain. 

Taking a Deep Breath

     As a child, I loved swimming in my friend's pool. We would often race each other the length of the pool under water. After I had gone about half way, I would have to come up for air. I quickly exhaled and then took the deepest breath I could before becoming submerged once again to finish the race. That's what these next four hours are: a deep breath before I go under water once again.

     After being submerged in the waters of moving to Virginia Beach, learning new routines, getting to know a new congregation, having half our stuff still packed and sitting in the rental garage, searching for a house to buy, trying to sell the Charlotte house, a small flood in the rental house, celebrating three birthdays, hosting my entire family during Holy Week, and two trips back to Charlotte, it's time to come up for a deep breath.  A time to relax even if I am on a full flight on the way to Denver to attend the national preaching conference, Festival of Homiletics. Since I'm too cheap to pay for wi-fi, I find myself in an odd predicament. I can't multi-task. I can hardly single task. Trapped in a small seat for several hours, I am forced to "Be still and know that God is God." God has me where God wants me.

     Deep breath. Ruach means breath. It also means spirit. As I take a deep breath, I also breathe in the Spirit. I need a mini-Pentecost. A fresh experience of the Holy Spirit. Life has become too hectic and I sometimes lose perspective. I lose my temper with the kids (and my husband) too quickly. I get too overwhelmed with fixing up the new house so we can move in Memorial Day weekend. I feel like I'm behind the curve with so much more to learn at the new church. I lose my sense of peace. Ironically I also just started teaching a class based on Marjorie Thompson's book Soul Feast, all about the spiritual disciplines. Not a coincidence that I'm teaching this book when I myself need to focus on the spiritual disciplines more than ever before. Not a coincidence. Rather a God incident. 

     Deep breath. In the class last week, we talk about breath prayers, a one sentence prayer that is thought of or whispered while breathing in and out. Two people had brought up my favorite scripture for breath prayer before I had the chance to introduce it. "Be still and know that I am God." With every breath I take off one word from the end of the sentence. "Be still and know that I am. Be still and know that I. Be still and know that. Be still and know. Be still and. Be still. Be." By the time I get to "Be" God has stilled my swirling thoughts and frantic lifestyle. I am centered once again.

     Deep breath. Pentecost is coming, in the church calendar year, in our denomination, in our churches, in our lives. Breathe in the Spirit. Allow it to still you or to energize you. Let the Spirit move with the the oxygen into your blood stream and become a part of you. Feel the presence of God and center yourself on the Source of your being. I need that. I forget how much I need that until moments like these when God traps me and stills me and speaks to me.

     Deep breath. As I soar 30,000 feet over the earth, the view above the clouds is serene. It gives me a completely different perspective as the problems of the earth seem so small above the clouds. This week will give me a different perspective also. This wonderful week will bring inspiration, challenge, and growth as I sit at the feet of some of the great preachers of our time. A time to renew and recharge, like my cell phone currently plugged into the charger between the plane seats. I look forward to sharing whatever God whispers in my ear this week. In the meantime...deep...breath.

Nothing Hard is Ever Easy

  Somehow I always delude myself that after Easter life will slow down.  It's the same delusion I have in May and December, "After Memorial Day (or Christmas) life will slow down."  But it never does.  This year we have inadvertently embarked on a variety of changes at the same time: changing emails, changing phone and internet providers, changing routers, changing technology in sanctuary, changing direction of music program, changing the use of our building facilities, changing programs for our worship visuals.  Changes are hard.  And as I am fond of saying, "Nothing hard is ever easy."
     Each of these changes have come with hours of unforeseen work, meetings, troubleshooting, phone calls, communication, etc.  None of which seminary ever prepared me for.  Finding the IP Address for the copy machine was a class I must have missed.  I continually struggle with the notion of balance, how do I balance all of these responsibilities, with responsibilities of family, with responsibility to myself.  How do I fulfill my obligations to work and family, while still finding some "me" time?  Nothing hard is ever easy.
     I'm afraid I have not been succesful at that balance in recent months.  I put "me" time aside for work and family thinking "It's only until Easter.  It's only until the summer.  It's only until that project is done."  Of course after that time comes, there's always something to take its place, always something else to do. 
     If I am ever going to achieve any kind of healthy balance in my life, I can't wait until "nothing else is going on."  I have to make time, now, and not apologize.  I have to find ways to restore my energy and keep that a priority.
     I did that on Monday for one hour.  I decided to take a walk in the gorgeous sunshine.  My son, Christian, wanted to go with me.  What a precious time we had together!  It was the first time we had a chance to just walk and talk.  Still four years old for a few more weeks, he shared with me what he was doing in school, the life cycle of a frog and a butterfly, words he was now reading, math work he was doing, the continents, planets, and months of year.  As we held hands, he held my heart, while he shared his life with me.  He wants to be a singer when he grows up, or a superhero.  He hasn't decided yet.  That one hour together renewed me like no other and I will cherish that walk for months and years to come.
     What can you do to renew yourself this week?  Have at least one event every week, if not two or three times a week, that you look forward to, that you enjoy, that re-energizes you.  Don't wait until there's nothing else to do, or it will never happen.  Just make the time.  It may be hard, but remember...nothing hard is ever easy.